Cultural Exchange During the Holidays

Below is a letter that, in years past, I have sent to host families and au pairs at the beginning of the holiday season.  I thought it would be helpful to share it on this blog, a bit earlier, in hopes that it will give you time to plan and prepare for the upcoming holidays.

As the holiday season is appearing on the horizon, Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas and the New Year, I thought it might be helpful to remind us all that during this intense and busy season, the au pair/host family relationship can benefit from an extra dose of sensitivity. 

For the au pair, the holidays will remind you of home and may stir up some homesickness or even the desire to be the child again in your parent’s home. I know some of you have expressed concern about having to work on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or New Year’s Eve.

For the family, you are probably wondering how you are going to get everything done! You will probably need the au pair at this time, more than ever, to help you manage the extra demands the holidays bring.

If this is the case, be sure to talk about these things beforehand and agree together on plans and priorities, so that no misunderstandings or resentments are allowed to build up.

As an au pair, remember that the Holidays (whichever is observed) are family time and if you share it with your host family you share it as an adult member. The excitement of the season often contributes to high activity levels in the children. This will require all of the adults to pull together in a spirit of cooperation and good cheer! If you are confused about what is considered family time and what work time is, or about what your role as a family member is during holidays, ask your host family to help you sort this out.

Families, for those of you who do not observe Christmas, but have an au pair who does, try to help him/her arrange something that will feel comfortable and meet his or her needs. Feel free to talk to me if you need help with this.

In the true spirit of cross-cultural exchange, I hope you will share your unique and wonderful holiday traditions with each other.